Trip to the beach!

 We took the trailer to Carlsbad State Park at the beginning of June.  We're not really beachy people.  We get bored quickly of sand and sticky and cold waves.  We enjoy exploring more. BUT we haven't done the beach in quite a while, so it was fun to do it again.

 The beach we were on is not really one that the people that stay there usually hang out on because it's so rocky.  You sort of have to drive up the road or down the road a few minutes to Encinitas or Mission Beach for sand.  The first day though, we needed to jump out of the car and see it.  So we hung out on the rocks.  My kids are really into rocks.  They scoured the beach for a couple of hours bringing me the prettiest ones to bring home, which I did.

 This picture of my man-child freaks me out.  He's 14, 5'10" 1/2, size 10.5 shoe, and check out his muscles!   It's scary.  I'm pretty proud of him.  He's a good kid with a good spirit.  Alot like Sarah in that he wants things to always be fair for everyone and loves his friends.

 It's funny how well my boys get along out of the house.  I don't think there was a single argument while we were gone.  But they fight like dogs at home.  Right before I snapped this picture (above) Ryan had his head leaning on Noah's, who was leaning his on Ryan's shoulder.  It was so cute.  I wanted proof that they loved each other once, but he moved it right before I could take the picture.

 Blueberry "pancake," Me style.  This was heavenly.

 This kid is so handsome and sweet.  Joshy.

 Misson Beach is incredibly beautiful.  This cool pathway that goes on for miles in each direction.  I'd like to go back there.

 The neighborhoods in Mission Beach reminded me of Brazil, only pimped out.

Couples smash ball.  A blustery day on the beach.

Iron Man

I really love watching the Iron Man in St. George every year.  This is the third year they've had it here and it will be the last year they hold a full race.  The next two years that they are contracted to hold it here it will be only a half Iron Man.  I had a couple of friends that did it the first year and I was so tempted back then to try and do it, but I knew at the end of the day that I just didn't have the time it would take that I could be away from the house to train.  Now, three years later,  I kinda don't want to ever be that narcissistic.  Not that my friends that do it ARE, but I would have to be to do it.  I'd have to ignore a whole lot of other people and things that need me.  I still am in awe of these people though.

The woman that took first place, I was happy to see, was kinda short and stalky and not stick thin.  It makes me happy to find people I can compare myself to physically (yes, I am that self conscious about my body) and see them do awesome things. 

I put a lot of miles on after I had Sarah when I was in my postpartum depressed stupor and gave myself a few injuries.  I have been thinking that maybe it's time to switch to lower impact cardio.  I've been biking and swimming, which I have enjoyed a lot, but nothing will ever compare to the running high and I've missed that.  I came across an article in a running magazine the other day that said that you don't ever need to give up running at any age, but just change the way you train to avoid injuries. That may or may not be true in my case, but I'm choosing to believe it because I need to.  Running is one of my few pure joys in life.  One thing that is always sure to make me feel happy and uplifted.  Peace.

The first place male winner.  He gave me a high five as he was rounding this corner to the finish line.  I took it as a sign.

These two klassy ladies were standing next to me watching.  One of them wreaked of pot and their banter was, I hate to admit, hysterical.  They were both in their early sixties, admiring the athletes bodies and flirting with the volunteers.  I couldn't help but think about the fact that I am closer to their age than I am to the age I was when I graduated from high school.  I still feel like I just graduated from high school.  How can it be that I am now done having babies and am officially exiting the 30 something young mom club?!  It's insane.  Where did my 30s go?  At the same moment I'm happy to be almost 40.  Finally no pressure to look perfect.  It actually kinda looks sad to me when I see someone in their 40s trying to look 20 or 30 something.  For instance, after these two women left, there came up an older woman, in her 70's, obviously an athlete herself because she was wearing Iron Man garb.  She said she was cheering on her son that was competing in his first Iron Man.  I asked her about her obvious involvement in Iron Man events and she told me that she was a 4 time champion at Kona in her 40+ divisions years ago, but that she is retired now.  I remember thinking that she, with her leathery tanned skin and sparkling healthy eyes and muscle toned 70 something body was more beautiful to me than any smooth botoxed exfolioated lazered lifted tucked nipped or injected woman I had seen. Hers was real beauty.  I don't know if any of my friends that do those things will ever read this and take offense.  Please know that I mean this for ME.  It's not that I think it's wrong for someone else to do it.  I honestly don't think that.  It's just that it's not the look that I think will make me feel beautiful.  To me the more natural, the better.  I was embarrassed to ask her if I could take a picture with her.  She inspired me to what I want to be doing when I'm in my 70s.  (My mom died at 71.  Ugh.)  Not that I'm ever going to be competitive with any sport, but just that I'm going to keep going with it and stay healthy.

Summa time...

Summer has become more and more about Sarah than ever, if that's possible.  Now that she doesn't have school she is in constant need of entertainment.  I really would not rather do anything else but hang with her, but it is nice to also be able to get some things around the house done.  Here we are having a "picnic" at the park in her play tent.

 Picture #2 is just her early in the morning with low blood sugar.  I have to admit that even when she's throwing temper tantrums (which are really rare, I think) I still think she's perfect.  When she is freaking out, I feel like we understand each other even better in that moment.  She is able to express exactly what I am feeling.  It's awesome.  She also is starting to copy my behavior, see pic #3, which is both cool and scary.  I realize I need to be a good example more now than with my boys even.

  #4 is at Mission Beach Park.  Everywhere we go, she sets out to find friends.  She is always looking for friends, and everyone is her friend, whether they like it or not.

 I'm so proud of how friendly and outgoing and open and loving she is to all kids.  She wants all of them in her life.  It's a gift.  I'm also afraid for her because people like that are bound for more pain in life.  Putting yourself out there more automatically increases the times in your life you'll experience rejection and hurt from your "friends."  I still have alot of scars from those lessons, and if I had had Sarah earlier in my life I'm sure I would have ruined her by protecting her from it all and fighting her fights at every turn.  It was a tender mercy that I had her last and later in life, so that I am mature enough to be able to see the big picture.  Just be proud of her and watch with confidence in her ability to get through it.  I'll be able to be a sideline coach instead of the backseat driver of her life.  My oldest son is like her too, and I mistakenly have tried to tell him to quit trying to make friends with the jerks that are mean.  Then I remembered that all 12-15 yr olds are jerky to each other and he'll get through it.  I had friends growing up with over protective parents that told them they are perfect and their friends weren't good enough for them anyway.  It didn't do them any favors.  They grew up really believing that instead of working on just being someone that people liked to be around.  I AM proud of her and her happy openness.  Every little girl is her "sister."  Every group of strangers we come upon anywhere, she'll blurt out "Oh, Hi guys!!" and they are friends.

This was a date night last weekend that Sarah invited herself on.  I love time alone with Ron, but I will admit to having separation anxiety.